Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grade Economic Advisor?

Jeff Foxworthy: Welcome to “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grade Economic “Advisor?!!!” (fans cheer)

Jeff : So what are you shooting for first today Barry?

Barry: Well Jeff, I’m thinking America wants me to take a shot at 2nd grade social studies for $17.3 million.

Jeff: Ok then here’s your question: What do you do if you are an over-valued company swimming in (cough)”Obama Cash” yet cannot find customers for your over priced product?

Barry: Why… you sell your product to yourself and send the bill to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., of course.

Jeff: Wha???

Barry: There’s no time to explain Jeff, You and America are just going to have to trust me on this. (woman in the second row faints as if on que)

Bad humor aside selling themselves product at our expense is exactly what Federal StimuCaine addicts at “First Solar” of Tempe AZ did according to Timothy P. Carney Senior Political Columnist for the Washington Examiner.

As Carney explains, the federal Export-Import Bank under authority of the Obama Administration gifted First Solar $16.3 million to expand their Ohio manufacturing facilities and another cool $1mil for training to meet what can only be assumed was anticipated growth in demand. That expanded demand would be from of course…themselves.

After pocketing the fed’s $17.3 million gift, and another $15 million in loan guarantees from Ohio state tax paying victims, err “public investors,” a non U.S. First Solar subsidiary (Canada) was then given a jaw dropping $455.7 million loan guarantee, backed of course, by you guessed it, U.S. federal “public investors”…YOU (aka Sucker).

In case it hasn’t quite sunk in let me restate; If the project fails, (remember, the cost per kW ratio run from 3-5 times or even more for solar than traditional sources,) the first entity to get paid will be the recipient of the loan (Big Non-Oil) , not the lender…YOU, so that sound of shattering glass in your head in not the imaginary sound of yet another bad “investment” in the “Good Ol’ Boys of Barrack” club crashing. No, it’s the synapses in your brain spontaneously detaching.

In a steroidal case of mission creep, described by George Will as “Mission Gallop,” away from the original purpose of Ex-Im Bank, we are now watching the White House (with a history of conflicts of interest) loan money to companies with a clear conflict of interest under the pretext of sound investment policy. What next? Printing money like paper is going out of style and calling it something pleasant like, I don’t know, “Easing?”

So here is where we “stand”. This same Ex-Im Bank that brought you that once in a lifetime investment opportunity ‘Enron’ decided that it was now in YOUR interest for YOU to provide grants and loan guarantees to a big corporation to build an uncompetitive product, sell said product to its ugly step sister, and promise that you and only YOU “stand” to lose.

Meanwhile the First Solar executives that own the potentially toxic project are free to take their millions and hit the sunny Phoenix area links where they might just bump into their fellow golfing fan Barry.

I’m so glad our President isn’t sleazy like that Bush fellow.

“5th grade math for $1 billion Jeff, I have some ads to run this fall.”


UPDATE: 3/22/2012 – Turns out Warren Buffet is neck deep in the shady First Solar deal. Go figure. According to Brianna Panzica of Energy & Capital, Buffet invested into the First Solar Topaz project as a condition of approval of loan guarantees “First Solar had attempted and failed to receive a loan guarantee from the U.S. government before creating the deal with MidAmerican.”  Maybe he’ll make enough to finally pay his multi-billion dollar tax bill before it becomes an estate tax.

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